Helga Paris New York

New York

In early September 1989 I receive the coveted West passport for the 3rd time, enabling me to visit Canada for family reasons. I have previously used this for stays in New York. I am suddenly fearful of this journey. I no longer want to leave. But allowing a West passport to lapse is unthinkable, everyone would think I was crazy. So I go. But inside I am on high alert. In NY I am seized by an inexplicable angst. Everything that previously filled me with enthusiasm now triggers panic in me.

It is only later that I discover that these fears are mirrored.